Touching stories with Ani, a nurse in the only palliative care hospice for children in Sibiu. How you can help too

Dozens of terminally ill children who need medical treatment to reduce their pain arrive at the hospice of the “Dr. Carl Wolff” Association. Ana Bleoca is the head nurse at the only hospice in Sibiu and has 15 years of experience in the field of palliative care, during which she became a second mother to seriously ill children.

Ana Bleoca or “Ani”, as she is known by her fellow hospice nurses, joined “Dr. Carl Wolff” right after it opened. Since then, he commutes daily from Șura Mare to Sibiu. Although she was offered other opportunities over time, Ani decided that her calling was to care for and give love to children with serious health problems.

“I started working at the Hospice when it opened. The first time I worked at the home for the elderly, and when the Hospice opened I came here. I have been working here with children for eight years. There are easier times, but also harder times. You get attached to the kids, but if you think about what you do for them, you feel it’s worth it. Either way, it’s inevitable that you won’t get emotionally attached to them. Beyond all that you have to do what is right for them medically as well. You also get satisfaction, especially when you see that the little one is a little better or that he is smiling, you already feel different too. You feel that you are relieving his suffering. It fulfills me professionally. For me it is work that brings me soulful satisfaction. You feel that you are doing a good thing and that you are a little help in a troubled world”, says Ani.

“Moments of happiness and sadness are intertwined”

Ani says that she didn’t choose the job, but the job chose her. The moments of sadness are often intertwined with the little joys – a hug, a warm look or a “coo”. These reactions, be they ephemeral, give the nurses strength to overcome the dramas caused by the loss of seriously ill children and continue their work with the same devotion.

“There were both sad and happy moments. They are intertwined. There were children who evolved for the better with us and were taken home by the family. Their first steps made us very happy, the first words they said made us happy too. There were three little boys like that. Their “cooing” are moments that fill you soulfully. You see them and treat them as your child. They are happy moments that I remember all the time”, says Ani.

The sad moments often overshadow the happy ones because there are more of them. Ani says that one case marked her in particular. “There was a 14-year-old boy who died at our place and it affected me a lot. He was a normal boy, he went to school and ended up in a wheelchair, he couldn’t walk anymore because of his heart condition. It came with the mother and within three, four months it went away. He was a boy who understood everything,” says the head nurse.

Ani does not use terms related to death, she prefers to say that the little ones have passed “beyond”. “There are also many difficult moments because there are children who are at the end of the road, who go “beyond”. When you see them suffering, you can read the suffering in their eyes and you see that slowly, slowly they go. You think that for them it can be a relief, a reassurance”, says the nurse.

Most of the children at Hospice are from foster care or abandoned

Currently, at the Association Hospice “Dr. Carl Wolff” are nine children. One seat is always available for emergencies. Most children are abandoned at birth when their parents discover they have a serious medical condition. “There are also children who are abandoned, and then the foster care center not being able to provide adequate care brings them directly to us. Here they are given care day and night, within the limits of everything that concerns us. They come with neurological or cardiac conditions. Now we also have two little ones who are supervised by their mothers. We also involve mothers as much as we can. After a while there is almost a family relationship between the staff and the mothers. The children here need round-the-clock care,” says Ani.

In a society where these children with serious conditions, many abandoned by their parents, do not have a well-established place in the world, Ani chooses to create a pleasant environment for them, where the little ones feel loved, especially in the hardest moments.

“We work 13 hours a day and 12 hours a night, but we also have days off. For me it is something normal. I can’t see myself anywhere else. The fact that I know that I am useful here and that everything I do helps and alleviates suffering, fulfills me. The way you talk to them, your tone and facial expressions matter a lot. The child feels all these things. When you talk to him, when you caress him, you convey your whole state to the child. I’m happy when I see him change his facial expression, grab you with his hands or hug you. Crina and Mira, both with heart problems, come to kiss you, hold you, call you. It is very important to call each child by name. By repeating, they end up turning their eyes when you call them, as is the case with Crina and Mira”, says the nurse.

Director: “We hit a phenomenon”

The hospice of the “Dr. Carl Wolff” Association opened in 2016, being primarily dedicated to adults. Later, the Children’s Hospice was also established, at which time the management faced an atypical phenomenon.

“We started the Hospice and we realized that most children are left by their parents in hospitals when they hear that they have a terminal illness. We encountered a phenomenon that is not typical for hospices around the world. We work more with children who come from centers, abandoned. State centers say they are not prepared to work with these children, hospitals say they cannot keep a child on ATI because they need places. After that comes the “goal”. What do we do next with them?”, says the Hospice director of the Dr. Carl Wolff Association, Rhein Ortrun.

“Not every case has to die”

In addition to the dramatic cases, there are also cases with happy endings that the Hospice Director of the Association “Dr. Carl Wolff” remembers with hope. “We also try that when the children are stabilized, we send them to the foster care center, with a little love. Not every case has to die. We have two cases, two children who came to us in a serious condition and recovered to us in the center, after also having heart operations. Meanwhile they were adopted. If they don’t have a family behind them, not many get a second chance. These children must be cared for individually,” says Rhein Ortrun.

In addition to children born with serious health problems who arrive at the Hospice either through hospitals or foster care centers, there is also the category of children who have been through serious accidents that changed the course of their lives in just a few seconds. The director mentions a few cases that make exceptions to the rule. “We also had cases of children in critical condition, after car accidents, we have cases of young mothers who themselves are children. We also have a boy, Traian, who fell into the well. That family had lost another child in the same situation. Traian has been in a vegetative coma for 5 years. We have nowhere to send him”, says the director of the Association’s Hospice Dr. Carl Wolff.

Sibians can help these children with a donation, so that the little ones can enjoy new pediatric beds. The current ones are 25 years old and no longer provide the necessary comfort and safety. Donated in 2016, they were used for 15 years in Germany before reaching the Sibiu Hospice. The 9 bedridden children need functional pediatric beds to have an adequate recovery and care environment. “We Help Hospice Children: Their Bed, Our Dream!” is the project registered at the International Marathon, to which the people of Sibiu and beyond can contribute with a donation so that the little ones can benefit from new beds.