The scandal at the Sera Eden restaurant, explained by an expert in psychology: the Romanians misunderstood emancipation

The controversial decision of a restaurant in Bucharest to require customers to keep their children seated at their table all the time has sparked heated disputes and some of the most vehement reactions online.

Society is divided, and opinions for and against the regulation have flooded social media. We are facing a phenomenon with a strong psychocultural component, says Daniel David, professor of clinical cognitive sciences at Babeş-Bolyai University in Cluj-Napoca and rector of UBB. He told edupedu.ro that the Romanian society is approaching the phase of emancipation, without having reached this stage of development yet.

“It’s a psychocultural component, because some are moving towards the emancipation phase at this moment and when you’re close to the emancipation phase you start to care more about your own needs and interests, without looking at the needs and interests of others,” Prof. Daniel David explained the phenomenon.

He is of the opinion that the message sent to customers was not well thought out nor very well understood. “Children are children and they cannot sit still at the table. At the same time, the other customers, when they are sitting at the table, do not feel like putting their children’s pebbles on the table. And then restaurants tried to find regulations, which are better or worse. If you want to have customers and families with children, then provide play areas. The example given now is of a restaurant that tried to regulate things correctly, but the way in which it did it was not wise, it did not respect the psychological principles that concern the behavior of children. The alternative was to decide and announce that it is an adults-only restaurant or to provide play spaces for families who bring their children, because you cannot expect them to sit only at the table”.

Many parents, says the expert, are unfortunately in the phase where their rights and interests are more important than those of others. “We have not yet entered the phase where we express our rights while respecting the rights of others. We will get there. But this is what it means to be an emancipated society: to express your needs and interests while respecting the needs and interests of others. We are not there now. We are in the transition phase from passivity (you don’t know your rights or you know them, but you don’t fight for them) to emancipation (you know your rights, you fight for them, but you also respect the rights of others), passing through aggressive attitudes (you know your rights, you fight for them, without caring about the rights of others)”.

The teacher explains that “on this road, all kinds of strange phenomena appear and if there are also uninspired regulations that some make from time to time, this polarizes society, the world”.

The lack of common sense and respect for those around, a sample of Romanian society

Daniel David believes that this behavior is a sample of the whole society. “It is also the difference in parenting, because parents who are in the emancipation phase also have a different parenting. Others who are in the traditional phase still have a different type of parenting and this is also seen in the discussion with the restaurant: what do you expect from the children. Parents who are in the traditional phase ask themselves: what are you doing with the child at the restaurant or if you come, then sit quietly and politely. While others say: the child must be allowed to express himself freely. A different kind of parenting, focused on rewards, not punishments and look clash [ciocnire] the restaurant. In the equation, the regulation without psychological principles by some restaurants intervened extraordinarily well”. The expert is of the opinion that such a scandal could have been avoided if the premises had been insured playground for the little ones. “The child can’t stay for an hour, an hour and a half, maybe two while the adults are having their discussions, what should the little ones do? The other option is to keep him at the table and give him a cell phone, which again is not healthy for the child. So, either you don’t let families with children and say that the restaurant is for adults, or if you accept children, then you have to create the appropriate context for them”.

We have parents with different profiles, he says. “Parents in the emancipation phase send their children to certain schools, often private or where you know the rules are looser. The others send them to more traditional schools, including seminaries of some churches, even if they do not want to take them into the theology area in the future. But there is the same polarization. And the decisions are made again, regulating violence and everything without being based on psychological research. And then we wonder if it doesn’t work. If there is a science of psychology in this world, which deals with human behavior and how people think in certain situations, it is normal to consult them. If you care about your health, consult a doctor. You have economic problems, consult a financier or an accountant. Do you have psychobehavioral, emotional problems? Consult a psychologist if you really want to use modern science. Otherwise, if we all know health, and psychology, and economics, then what we see comes out”, Prof. Dr. Daniel David also specified.