For all mothers, the moment when the child goes to kindergarten or school is one full of emotions, often even contradictory. So strong in some cases that one can easily reach another level, that of anxiety. An anxiety fueled by various reasons, by various fears.
Of all the worries a mother can have (or create!) the fear of getting sick, the fear that the little one won’t be able to adapt to the new routine and the new rigors, and that he won’t be accepted and liked are at the top of the list either by the children or by the educator or teacher.
Fear of illness
Of course, it is a justified fear, because illnesses in the collective are inevitable. It’s natural to worry about your baby, and it’s no surprise that you sometimes overdo it when it comes to your baby’s health. But living in constant fear will not protect him from viruses and bacteria. When this fear takes over your life and does not leave you day and night, especially if the little one does not have any pre-existing illness, it is definitely an alarm signal. But it’s not a problem without a solution! Discuss this with your family doctor or a specialist and follow their advice. Don’t get stuck in this worry, feeling like you have a sword over your head all the time. It will be more useful for you to inform yourself about the symptoms of the most common conditions (childhood diseases, viruses, seasonal conditions, etc.) so that you can recognize them immediately and, where possible, take measures to prevent them.
Despite the legitimate health concern, it is more important for mothers to remember that both kindergarten and school are above all environments beneficial to the social and educational development of their children. And that it is essential to focus and encourage the positive side of this experience.
He was afraid that he would not be able to adapt to the routine and the rigors
There are few children who adapt from the first week of kindergarten or school. For them it is a new, unknown environment, a major change. But they are not afraid of these things, as much as parents are afraid of being separated (for a few hours a day!) from their children. Mothers’ anxiety is more rooted in stories heard from other parents, in their own difficult experiences where children had difficulty adjusting. They develop the fear that their children may also encounter the same problems, not taking into account that each child is unique and has his own pace of adaptation to changes and new environments.
Also, another source of anxiety is the academic pressure placed on children from the beginning of kindergarten or school. At least when it comes to school, in our country the emphasis is on performance, and then it is natural for parents to fear that the little ones might not meet the requirements. Open communication with educators/teachers can ease the transition for the child, which can also reduce parental anxiety.
The fear that he will not be appreciated/accepted by the collective and educators
Living with this fear shows that rather the parent has a trauma, that in his own childhood there were problems of acceptance and integration. That his self-esteem was badly shaken. It is important for mothers to manage their own emotions and anxieties in order to provide stable and warm support to their children. Instead of being dominated by fear, they need to focus on supporting their child’s emotional well-being in this transition and show their willingness to communicate openly, to listen and to address the child’s real concerns, if they do exist with true. Stress management practices such as meditation, regular exercise, or reflective journaling can be extremely beneficial. In situations where the stress and parental anxiety induced by it cannot be controlled by the methods at his disposal, it would be good for the parent to consult a doctor.
Maternal anxiety affecting children
According to MedicalNewsToday, which cites a 2019 review that looked at 25 studies, children whose parents had an anxiety disorder were at a significantly higher risk of also developing generalized anxiety disorder, separation anxiety disorder, or specific phobia. The same source points out that an anxious parent may inadvertently teach the child that certain situations are to be feared because they fear them themselves.
Parents can and should find and practice ways to manage stress. When children see their parent use coping strategies, they will learn how to cope themselves. The recommendation for parents is to try to adopt a calm attitude in front of the child, while also paying attention to the words used and facial expressions.
